When coaching, it's all about the client, be that as a professional coach, or a line manager/business owner using coaching skills in their own business, with their own people. But it's so easy sometimes to turn the tables and be the client..oh, so easy...:-)

1. Let Me Tell You About My Day
   Coaching is about the client and NOT about the coach, usually. Sometimes a coaching experience might be worth a share if a coachee is stuck but not usually. Its all about them not you. Honour that.
2. Well, Youre Just Useless Arent You!
   Its bad enough to criticise them for their past but this reinforces their own self-doubt about their future. You have even taken away their hope for goodness sakes. A coachs role is to enable potential and open the client's eyes to possibilities. Not slam it shut.
3. You Think Youve Got Problems - Well, Let Me Tell You
   OK, so youve got some issues you are facing yourself. Sorry about that. In a coaching context, you are there to support and grow the client not devalue what is truly on their mind, by filling it up with your issues. You can share them but on your time, not theirs.
4. What Id Do is This
   Now this is very tempting and sometimes (Stop coaching me for a minute, throw me a rope!) it might, just might be acceptable yes, I have done it myself! But in the main, the coachs job is to extract the greatness out of the client and then build on their abilities and confidence going forward.
5. Sit Down and Shut Up, Ive Got Something to Say
   No, we havent quite got the hang of this here, have we? Coaching is about listening, more especially, really hearing and asking some challenging questions - maybe. Even listening is all some clients need they process solutions as they talk its remarkable. So how does the line above help that? Not at all.
6. Well, Youve Wasted the Last 20 Years of your Life then Havent You
   Spot the mistake here then? Everyone in the world has value, often untapped and often hidden under piles and piles of history and baggage. Your job is to help them rise above it NOT to stick another six of the best Samsonites on the top!
7. Excuse Me if I Just Check my E-mail While Youre Talking
   Ever done two things at once? In the case of a coaching relationship, trust and focus are vital to build the relationship. If you are doing something else when talking to the client, you are not giving your full attention, whether the discussion is on the phone or face to face. Make sure there are no interruptions or distractions.
8. Im Not Interested in Whats Causing the Problem Lets Just Fix it Fast
   You could do thisbut where will they come next time for a solution. Yes, to you. So when will this stop? When can you get on with your own job? When you take the time to build their ability to solve their own problems thats when. It requires questions and a blame-free culture. And it requires a coaching style.
9. Ill Tell You What Your Problem is
   Go on then, do it. This takes a punch at what their weaknesses are and not their strengths. People already know where their weaknesses are, believe me. Coaches build on strengths and leverage them to cope with areas that the client finds more challenging.
10. Can I Call You for a Date?
    Just for fun this one. But with a serious side. It is challenging to have a professional relationship and have other things on your mind. It is quite hard to be very objective if there are other distractions so take care in this area. Though coaching in Starbucks would be my idea of bliss! Oh, yes - and according to the International Coach Federation, quite understandably, it's unethical.

The constructive way to use this is to take the opposite courses of action to those listed - then you will have the foundation of a valuable coaching relationship with your client, privately or in your workplace.

Martin Haworth

Thanks for taking a look at me! I work with people to help them realise their potential and make the most of their life. I also help managers to get the very best from their people, to make their businesses, teams, departments, whatever, to be successful.

Usually this is through my 'Coaching Managers to Coach' workshops, delivered worldwide, which includes experiential and hot-seat coaching for all participants - a great, fun learning experience. Click the big green link panel on any of the website pages!

There are over 1000 hints and tips, and that doesn't include the blog, which is updated pretty well daily, if not more often!

With a background in team management of groups from 6-300 and a great ICF coaching accreditation, I reckon I'm almost unique in my experience and training to make this work for you.

So take a look, checkout my other articles and maybe even set the blog page as a favourite:-) And, you know, if you want to get in touch, give me a call. I'll talk about almost anything, but I love helping people make the best of their workplace. Or e-mail me through the contact page on the site.

Ooops, I nearly forgot, I do manager soft-skills analysis with a programme called 'Intercept' and if you just want some one-to-one business coaching, I do that too. There's also a button on the navigation bar on the website pages for that too.

Fees, well, let me see, can I say that we can work something out? That's the way I work.

Thanks for happening by!

Martin