With all these rhymes I was tempted to write a poem (and I may still...stay tuned for the sequel!!) about this topic. However, I decided I would just be straight-forward with these dynamics, seeing how critically valuable they are in our day-to-day lives.

We have a choice we make many times during the course of a day: Express it or repress it.

In other words, we either find a way to release our expression, which may be referred to as emotional discharge, or we stuff it, which is synonymous with repression. It is quite normal to have to do some stuffing during the course of a day, but what is important is that you have an awareness of that and find an appropriate time and place to release it.

Think of these emotions as being weights, and everytime you stuff one you put some additional weight on your back. It can be very subtle; after all, a pound here and there doesnt amount to much. However, if you begin to accumulate an excessive amount, the load can very easily begin to have some profound effects on your energy.

That is where the depression component comes in. I have never met a person who was struggling with this depressed energy that didnt have a significant amount of unexpressed emotion. So rather than risk getting into any depressive energy, lets look at some healthy methods of expressing your emotions.

1. First, realize your personal indicators of stuffed emotions. Some of the common examples would include fatigue, irritation, isolation, rage, decreased concentration, obsessing/ruminating, anxiety, and sleep/appetite disturbance. Identify for yourself what your indicators are.

2. I would recommend doing a daily inventory (call it mental flossing) to identify what, if any, feelings need to be released.

3. Create a number of outlets to release your emotions. Some examples would include talking to your friends/your spouse/your support group, writing/journaling, singing, dancing, drumming, running, biking, weight-lifting, kick-boxing, mediation, prayer, and creative visualization. Use all the interventions that you can, and repeat as often as you need to.

4. If any of the above emotional releasing exercises feel weird, or if you feel vulnerable or uncomfortable in doing them, then I would say Congratulations!! to you. Whenever you step out of on old pattern and into a new, it is very normal for it feel weird, vulnerable, and uncomfortable. Those feelings, in fact, are validation that you are creating some new skills to deal with these emotional dynamics. And just like everything else in life, when you repeat something over and over that is new and uncomfortable or awkward, it soon becomes comfortable and normalized in your day-to-day life.

I hope you stay on the path of the expression-connection to avoid the repression-depression of non-expression.

Now I think Ill go work on that poem...or maybe Ill even turn into it a rap and really get self-expressed...

(Just a quick disclaimer: Clinical depression is a chemical imbalance that usually needs to be treated by medication, and although the contents of this article can be very helpful in the recovery of such a depressive state, this by no means is meant to be a substitute for medical intervention. If you think you are suffering from clinical depression, I recommend that you see your doctor or a mental health professional.)

Ken Donaldson

Ken Donaldson, the REALationship Coach, has been based in Tampa Bay, Florida offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. He is a licensed mental health counselor; board certified as an addictions professional and clinical hypnotherapist; and certified as a master relationship coach. Ken is a graduate of the University of South Florida, the Institute for Life Coach Training and the Relationship Coaching Institute. He has been exclusively in private practice since 1993.

Ken is the author of the new breakthrough life and relationship success book Marry YourSelf First! Saying ?I Do? to a Life of Passion, Power and Purpose. The material in this book is a result of Donaldson?s 15+ years of clinical counseling and coaching with thousands of individuals and couples. In this book, he reveals what he has discovered as the 20 core Principles of Passion, Power and Purpose. When these principles are applied to your life you can overcome self-limiting patterns and create abundant happiness, fulfillment and success in your life and relationships.

Donaldson?s primary message from this book is to ?Master Your Life and Your Relationships!? Purchasers of this book are eligible for free coaching and educational programs to support and promote optimal growth and success.

Ken founded the REALationship Coaching programs empower people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships by building a powerful relationship with themselves first.

Included are the monthly Saturday Series workshops and the REAL Talk Forums. These programs are for couples and individuals alike, and help the participants live the most passionate and balanced lives possible.

He also facilitates the Marry YourSelf First program that assists singles to have more successful relationships and more satisfying lives. The graduates of this program leave with a clear vision of who they are, what they want, and how to get it.

In addition, he offers the Partners for Life programs for both pre-committed and committed couples that provide the tools and resources to help couples create relationships that are both lasting and fulfilling. Couples report that they have deeper intimacy and more fun as a result of utilizing the tools from these programs.

Ken also offers education and training programs for businesses and community organizations on a variety of personal growth and business improvement topics.