Resilience is a great concept. As mothers, we must master this art. Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from illness, change, or misfortune. Resilience is buoyancy. Think of all the things this covers. A few examples might be our families get sick, we mend them back to health, our spouses have a hard day at work and is grouchy with us, or we have another curve ball thrown at us from work or life in general. It, also, means the properties of a material, which enable it to resume its original shape or position after being pulled, stretched, creased or compressed. How many times a day do we feel, pulled, stretched, or compressed in some way, either emotionally, physically, mentality, or even spiritually? When we live in a place of reaction, we tend to feel this much more often than most. After really studying the evaluations of women and the effects this lifestyle had on our bodies and marriages, I saw a consistent theme. Women tend to have some of the same warning signs when they are being pulled past our natural resilience points: depletion, strain on relationships, taking things personally, higher emotions and chaos. Resilience can come to mean having the ability to discern and focus on thoughts, relationships, actions, and internal beliefs that nourish and replenish the mind, body, and spirit with joy, love, enchantment, and elegance. It is the state of having continuous experiences throughout the day that renew and re-energize you. Resilience, also, means ending the day with energy and gratitude for the lessons learned and the way in which we learned them. Sometimes we learn them the easy way, and sometimes we are just plain stubborn learning them the hard way. Either way, resilience means having compassion for self in that moment. There are a few of the simple things that bring me back to a state of resilience smelling a rose, giving my daughter a hug, sending a note to a friend, taking a deep breathe or just stopping long enough to see what it is I really want. These little things work for me when I catch myself getting to the point of utter exhaustion. However, there are those times we stretch ourselves in so many directions we get torn; and sometimes we break. Then what? Order up the main course of self-forgiveness, blended with cup of compassion; add a shot of grace, and a side of self-reflection. Take a bath, write in your journal, or just allow yourself to take a step back and connect the dots of what just happened, without the need to justify or blame. When women get in the habit of asking ourselves: What do you need in this moment? We honor our self and ourselves bringing us back to the natural resilience point; where we listen and follow what we hear in our hearts. For each woman, it will be different, unique, but that is what makes us special and why we need to pay attention to what makes us FEEL better - Sometimes it is a good cry, sometimes just calling a friend does the trick. Most of the time, the act of taking a few deep breathes and allowing myself a few minutes to take off the wonder woman cape and trade it in for my fuzzy Scooby Do blanket allows me to know that all will be there once I have received self-care. What is your recipe of self-care when you are torn and tattered? Just knowing that if you get to that point again, and you will, you have a plan of self-care allowing your body to stop and take a few steps before reaching the breaking point. You already have the structure and a way to love yourself back to center. It is so easy to get lost in endless speculation. Just for a moment don't ask to understand the secrets of the universe, but simply to know what THIS moment means. So, today in the midst of all that is happening in your life, release the need to know why things happen the way they do. Instead, ask for the insight to recognize what you're meant to learn. Resilience is ours to claim and ours to experience. Are you ready to claim your part today'? |
