Author: Irene Watson ISBN: 1891386492 Exploring the cause and effect of addictions is a tricky proposition, as it is a term that is often tossed around in such a manner that most of us assume we clearly understand it. However, after reading Irene Watsons The Sitting Swing, you realize that it can connote much more than dependence on drugs or alcohol. It can likewise mean a form of behavior where you are constantly trying to please others. According to Watson, whom I interviewed, she indicated that ten or so years ago this addiction was coined as co-dependency, however more recently the National Mental Health Association is terming it as relationship addiction." It is a learned behavior that is often passed down through the generations by watching other family members display the behavior. Watsons retrospective memoir and episodic narrative, as a child growing up in a two room log cabin without plumbing in a small town in Alberta, candidly reveals how she had been shaped by her many nasty experiences with her family and relatives, and in particular her relationship with her mother. The first part of this candid narrative focuses on Watson's early childhood years. She was born to Ukrainian parents, both of whom had only a third grade education. A brother was born before her, however, sadly the baby died after living two months and twelve days succumbing to colic and dysentery, as well as rectal bleeding. As a result of this tragedy, her mother was blamed by her relatives and friends for the child's death. It was believed that her mother's young age and weakness were the root causes of the child's death. Watson was constantly subjected to an extremely over protective and somewhat cruel mother, who continuously found fault with her and was impatient with her shortcomings. A swing had been built that she couldn't even swing on-the prime purpose being that she would be watched and monitored by her over- bearing mother. Her first year in school was quite traumatic, as she was unable to communicate in English with her teachers or her classmates, and as she recounts, mouths were moving, sounds were made, but I hadn't a clue what was going on." She was nearly raped and her mother, who heard her screaming, didn't even try to help. When she tried running away from home, he mother unmercifully beat her. She even blamed herself for a hail storm that resulted in considerable damage to the family's property. It was her belief that God had punished her because she stole a cookie from the cookie jar. After all, her mother did say that hail storms were caused because God was angry with someone. The wearing of jeans was out of the question, as her mother ridiculed her physique. The second half of the book concentrates on Watson's desire to understand herself and her inner feelings. Consequently, for twenty-eight days she attended the Avalon Retreat Center in Quebec. The principals of this center believe that recovery is a process, not an event. According to Watson, their model is based on the premise that dependencies and addictions are anchored in an exaggerated need to self-medicate as a result of the person's inability to access their inner strength. Watson is an intelligent and observant narrator and readers will be pulled in by her astute understanding of the nature of addiction, that at times are filled with many psychological complexities. The result is a moving narrative providing the readers with a superb snapshot of one woman's quest to free herself from self-defeating repetitive patterns and dependencies. The author succeeds in explaining and articulating the big questions" pertaining to relationship addiction," and thereby gives her readers a firm foundation for further study and analysis. |
